


saturday night fever

by taffeta



Series: hot soup [1]
Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M, Tang Shen as wingman, its a meet-cute that includes a graphic bar fight, some homophobic language specifically the q slur, this is also a bar for yokai although they dont know that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-05 06:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17913215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taffeta/pseuds/taffeta
Summary: Looking for a night on the town, action movie star Lou Jitsu and his co-star Tang Shen bite off a little more than they can chew.





	saturday night fever

**Author's Note:**

> god im so sorry i haven't written a fic in like five years anyway this is the beginning to a Baron Jitsu series starting with how they met and I hope i do these two characters justice

It's 1996, and he's traveling in a little red corvette that's going eighty miles an hour; the window is rolled down and it's messing with his coif (he'll have to smooth it back down when they get to where it is they're going) but it's a cool seventy five degrees outside, even at 9 pm. On this summer night, Lou Jitsu looks out and thinks. Until he doesn't want to think anymore. 

"I'll bite, mama. Where are we going?" Lou draped his arm over the seat that his best friend and ultimate wingman, the one and only Tang Shen, currently occupied. She raised one meticulously well-plucked and filled in eyebrow, but didn't turn to him.

"How should I know?" She shrugged, "you got us booted from our last joint."

Lou scoffed, reaching for the radio, "Well, I wasn't too cool with him calling me queer. Like, it's the 90's, baby. Why are you being homophobic in the 90's?"

Tang Shen shrugged once more, but he saw just a ghost of a smile on her lips. He flipped through the radio stations, none of them appealing in their selection of music for this Saturday night, until he settled on one he sort-of listened to with a half decent playlist. He tuned in during the ass-end of the song, and as it ended the radio announcer took over before Lou could change the channel.

'A wonderful Saturday night, ladies and gentlemen, especially a wonderful night to be seeing film legend Lou Jitsu's new joint 'Iron Jitsu Strikes Back' in theaters. The movie's been out for only a week and it's already shattering all kinds of records for best opening night of--' 

He darted for the dial and switched it off, reclining back in his seat afterwards, silent. Tang Shen said nothing. 

"So you don't know where we're going?"

She scoffed, "Of course I do, you big baby. I'm not driving us around for my own health. It's in Queens. Some little dive bar in the cut, but she told me of some weird goings-on there."

"Weird stuff, huh?" Lou wiggled his eyebrows, smiling, "what kind of weird stuff?"

Tang Shen laughed, and hit him lightly on the arm, "not that kind of weird stuff, doofus. She wouldn't really say, though. But I've heard my own rumors about the place. Freaky things and people seen entering and leaving."

"And that's why we're going?" He asked, "To see how much we can get into?"

"Of course that's why we're going, fool." And she tipped her head back and laughed loudly. Lou laughed right along with her, energized at the young night, fat and full with possibilities for the two of them to cause a stir. Tang Shen hit the gas (almost running through a little ol' grandma driving a little old Buggy but she was going fifty in the left lane so) and they sped off. 

\-----  
Half an hour later and before Lou could finish up the wings on his eyeliner, Tang Shen pulled into a parking lot, eased into a spot and turned off the car. 

"We're here. Well, not really," she popped the glove compartment and looked through a notepad. "Looks like it's a couple blocks down."

"Alright, alright, alright," he slid out of the passenger's seat, closing the car door and rested his chin on the hood of the corvette, as Tang Shen collected her few things, "shitty parking lot on the seedy looking side of town. Let's get going, mama! I need a drink like you need a good publicist." 

She closed her door, smiling, "Man...if he tries to market me as 'the female Lou Jitsu' again, I'm taking a cheese grater to his ass and shredding that meat. Let's roll."

Tang Shen made sure to lock the car door three times (and once more just for good measure) and they started on their way, the only two bodies on the street.

\----

Lou Jitsu wasn't sure what he was expected when he walked into the shitty bar...but he felt just a pang of disappointment as he looked around and decided, yea, it really was just a shitty bar. The floors were a faded checkerboard pattern and in the corner sat two pool tables under a flickering lamp. The walls were adorned with the usual recognizable beer and liquor signs, and as a whole, this bar was no different from any of the other dive bars that dotted the American landscape. 

But he looked around, puzzled; for a seedy little place, it sure was popular. The music (country? Ugh) was drowned out to an extent by the noise of the many patrons. And even they, Lou noticed, were a diverse bunch. 

Tang Shen and Lou ordered their first round of drinks--two beers, nothing special--and sat on the rickety barstools, waiting.

"Such a weird place." he teased. 

She laughed, "Yeah, how disappointing. A full house tonight, though."

"Maybe they know something we don't," he conceded. Their drinks were brought out, and he grabbed them from the counter; he had to scream in Tang Shen's ear to be heard over the commotion.

"I'm gonna get us a table." 

She eyed him, “Leaving me with the tab again?”

Lou took off.

Two drinks in hand, he beelined it for a table whose earlier occupants had shuffled towards the front doors, only to run face first into a wall. 

Or what he thought was a wall, at first, but actually turned out to be the chest of an extremely broad and tall man. 

"Oh, damn!" He exclaimed. The top of their beers sloshed out from the cup and onto the tile floors, and there was a noticeably large wet stain on the front of the guy's blue shirt. Lou sucked his teeth. 

"Sorry, sorry! Man, I wasn't watching where I was..." he stopped, floored by the fact that he had to crane his head up to look the stranger in the eye, " Damn, you're built like a brick shit-house! You work out?"

"For combat purposes." He rumbled. Dude had a *great* voice, too, low and deep. Lou gave him another once over, the table he had booked it for long forgotten. 

Besides being as broad as a work-horse, he had a nice complexion to his skin, and a head-full of auburn hair that flowed down way past his shoulders; his eyes were a deep brown, and Lou could see the lights and movement of the dive bar behind him reflected in them. Outfit wise, he'd chosen a casual blue shirt with jeans, and a blazer with the chunkiest looking shoulder pads Lou had ever seen on a jacket in this decade. All-in-all, an extremely nice catch. 

"Cool, cool." he said, peering up at the stranger and smiling coyly. "I do a little bit of working out myself from time to time. If you're not busy, or anything, maybe we can do some training together."

The guy's heavy frown and furrowed eyebrows lifted ever-so-slightly, for the first time drinking in the entire 5'10 picture of Lou Jitsu, his eyes lingering on the low-cut plunge part of the outfit that revealed his very defined pecs.

('Tits out?' Tang Shen asked earlier that night as they were leaving. 'Tits out' responded Lou Jitsu, dusting one last coat of glitter on his chest before he ran out the door)

"You are a warrior?" He asked. 

"Well, I wouldn't call myself that, but I gotta keep in shape for my epic fight scenes. You may have seen one of them before," he paused, for dramatic effect, "like in...Iron Jitsu Strikes Back?"

The red-haired stranger looked at him blankly. He looked back incredulously, floored at this turn of events. 

"Lou Jitsu and the Green Dragon?" The guy shook his head. "Fist of the North Jitsu?" Nothing. "Iron Lou? Any of these movies ringing a bell?" 

He cocked his head, "Are you a celebrated man on your planet?"

"Am I...I'm Lou Jitsu!" Lou threw up his hands in indignation, spilling some beer on himself and unfortunate bystanders. "I'm one of the biggest action film stars on the planet! My movie has been number one at the box office for like, three weeks now!"

"Fascinating." The stranger sounded anything but fascinated. 

"You seriously don't know who I am?" He asked, "like...zero clue?"

"I am not familiar with all of Earth's public figures." 

Lou shook his head in disbelief. This tall glass of water was hot, imposing, and had no idea who he was? There was only one more pressing question he had to ask.

"...Are you single, dude? You want to go out sometime? I know this great place in the Village that has vegan options, we can go out for breakfast or something."

A beat passed. He wiggled his eyebrows, and as the guy opened his mouth to respond, something heavy and big sent Lou flying into the man in front of him. His head smacked into the stranger's broad chest, and he got a nose full of the beer he had spilled on his shirt. The stranger hardly looked perturbed by Lou bursting his personal space bubble, but the action-star went bright red in embarrassment, and managed a quick string of words—‘sorry, oh man, sorry, sorry’—before he heard:

"I said no, sir." 

He whipped around at the sound of Tang Shen's voice; he knew that specific tone anywhere, the one where whoever was on it's receiving end had about five seconds before they got the ass kicking of their lives. The man that nearly knocked Lou over wasn't a beast like Mr. Brick Shit-house he had been chatting up, but the guy was a good foot taller then him, with long, hanging appendages and a too-long torso that didn't seem to fit him correctly. Like he put on a costume made of skin that morning. 

 

Tang Shen was standing from her barstool, eyes blazing and hands balled into fists. The guy stood up straight, and Lou saw something bright and blue (blue why was it blue??) dripping from his nose, which looked like someone had pushed it too far to the right. He cracked it back into place. Behind him, Lou discarded their drinks onto the nearest table; the undercurrent was undeniably electric, and the crowd had gone nearly silent watching the encounter unfold, waiting to see what would happen next. The guy took a step towards Tang Shen, who did not move.

"You broke my nose," he whined, wiping away the blood (blue blood?) from his face and onto his sleeve, "I was trying to be nice, bitch. But now I'm not going to be so nice to you anymore." 

And on that note, Lou tapped the man on his shoulder, and when he turned, punched him in the face for a second time so his nose cracked in the opposite direction. 

This time the dude didn't bother re-setting his nose; he lunged for Lou and tackled him into a crowd of onlookers, and when he felt the impact of his body against other bodies, someone in the throng of people screamed, "Bar fight!" And chaos erupted. 

Glasses flew, and so did barstools, utensils, plates and whatever else patrons could get their hands on, but Lou was far too preoccupied with taking down the gangly stranger to pay them any mind. As soon as the guy tacked him he started throwing punches directly at Lou's face; with one hand trying to block the blows, the other felt along a nearby table, and found what he had been looking for. Lou Jitsu shattered a pint glass across the guy's face. Momentarily distracted with shards of glass in his eyes, Lou kicked out the guy's legs from under him, leaving him a writing, screaming mess on the floor. 

Besides a split lip, he was otherwise unharmed, and through the chaotic scene he began to search for Tang Shen, until a fist collided hard with his left cheekbone. He went flying and hit the back of a table, and before he could find his footing there was a body on top of him, hitting and kicking with the intent to seriously hurt him. Lou Jitsu donkey kicked the dude square in the crotch, and when he lifted his head to scream in pain punched him square in the Adam's apple. He went down, and Lou tasted hot, tangy blood in his mouth, and spit it out. He managed to take down three more guys before Tang Shen took him by his forearm and forced him out of the bar, laughing shrilly as they ran back to the car. 

—

Before long, they heard the wail of police sirens and saw a handful of cop cars speeding towards the direction they had just come from. From the parking lot, they heard the shouts and screams of patrons; Lou Jitsu nursed the cut on his cheek and lip and Tang Shen smoked a cigarette while applying anti-bacterial cream to her knuckles. They were both silent for a period of time, still energized from the fight, and when the situation had calmed down Lou looked at her and she looked back and they both lost it, sniggering. 

"We were there for five minutes!"

"Don't blame me for this one," Lou smirked, "you were the one who got into it with lover boy back there."

"You didn't have to beat his face in, though! I had it handled." 

"Where did you run off to, anyway? You were supposed to find us a place to sit and the next thing I know, that guy is breathing down my neck." She tied her hair back into a ponytail absentmindedly. “What was coming out of his nose? Did you notice that?”

"I ran into some dude." Lou shrugged, wiping stray blood from his cheek using the passenger mirror, "Mr. Macho man, built as all hell. He was hot, though." 

"Like this person coming up behind us now?" 

Lou scrambled to sit up straight in the seat, diving out of the corvette so fast he nearly fell onto the pavement. Sure enough, the guy from the bar was coming up through the parking lot, straight to them. Lou met him slightly in the middle, making very last minute preparations to his beyond-ruined outfit, stained with blood, and his hair, which had been ripped out in places by angry patrons. The stranger came up, an odd sort of smile on his face. He did not speak at first, once again taking in all of Lou Jitsu glowing with after-fight adrenaline, and he felt a tad self-conscious at his gaze. 

"You are a skillful opponent." He said at last. Lou Jitsu, a man easily tamed by flattery, popped his collar out and grinned broadly, while Tang Shen sighed behind him. 

"Normally, ah, I wouldn't be the one to bail on a bar fight, but because of my associate here," she smacked him lightly on the temple, "--*ow*! I mean...we had already cause enough damage there." He smirked, glancing at Tang Shen, "It was time to blow that popsicle stand."

Tang Shen nodded, glancing at Lou. He nodded back, and she said "I'll be in the car if you need me." She waved at his companion, and slid into the front seat. 

The stranger did not look away, his piercing gaze alight with some emotion Lou had a difficult time placing, "Do you often partake in combat?"

"Well, it's what I'm all about. I am an action movie star, after all," he grinned lopsidedly, "I like doing my own stunts."

For the first time in the night, the man smiled, his eyes crinkling in delight, and he pulled something out of his pocket. He handed it to Lou, and began walking away. 

"If you are looking for a real battle, Mister Lou Jitsu, call me." 

He turned the card over in his fingers.

'Battle Nexus' was emblazoned on one side of it, in a shimmering yellow font. There was nothing else written on the other.

"Wait!" Lou called after the man, who stopped in his tracks, "how can I call you?"

He did not turn back around. "Write your full name on the back, in ink. The rest will come to you."

"I...okay?" He scratched his head, shoved the card into his pocket. "Can I at least know your name?"

This time, the man did turn around. In that booming voice that made Lou feel ever-so-slightly weak in the knees, he said:

"Baron Draxum." 

"Draxum? So is that like Polish, or..."

"It's an ancestral name passed down from the seventh layer of Chaugnarias-Nyarlathotep." With that, Lou took a step back as a ring of blue fire engulfed Baron Draxum, and shot up into the sky. He shielded his eyes from the contained explosion, and when he lowered his arm the brick house human man from the bar had transformed into a monstrosity, a lumbering, eleven-foot humanoid figure. 

"...tight." For the second time that night, Lou was at a loss for words. 

Draxum chuckled. Lou noticed two pairs of glowing red eyes where his shoulder pads had once sat, and one of the inky blobs waved a clawed finger at him. 

"I'll be expecting you, Lou Jitsu." Baron Draxum boomed.

"Nice meeting you!" Said the thing on his shoulder. 

They sunk into the ring of fire, and as soon as Draxum's huge head was through the hole it closed, not a wisp of flame left behind. Lou hadn't noticed Tang Shen standing behind him, until her loud proclamation of 'what the fuck'. He stood watching where Draxum had once been, for a time. And then he turned to Tang Shen.

"I think I'm in love." Was all he could say. 

"...We need to talk about your taste in men." Was all she could say. Tang Shen led them back to the corvette, and they drove off into the night.

**Author's Note:**

> realizing i have no idea if Baron Draxum is an alien or a demon lmao either way Lou is dtf


End file.
